


Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina

by aomugetsu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Argentina, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Fluff, Iwaizumi is mean and then soft, Japan, Kinda?, Living abroad, M/M, Nekoma Oikawa, No Smut, Parents being assholes, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love, Vulnerability, but at the same time!!, iwaizumi hajime 27 athletic trainer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27088471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aomugetsu/pseuds/aomugetsu
Summary: ever since circumstances pushed him to leave japan to live in argentina, oikawa struggles to make ends meet, rendering his life abroad with his best friend kuroo pretty difficult. his job as a singer in a popular bar of buenos aires doesn’t provide him with enough money to live comfortably. and so, he relies on his occasional hookups and their wallets full of bills to stay afloat. and it always works. that is, until he tries to fool the wrong guy.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Iwaizumi Hajime, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Shimizu Kiyoko
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina

oikawa wishes he could say argentina treated him right. 

he wishes he could boast about the apartment he and his best friend kuroo are sharing right in the center of buenos aires. he wishes he could brag about the prestigious university he goes to. he wishes he could show off all the money he earns with his part-time job.

but he really can’t. 

truth is, the apartment’s too expensive for kuroo and him to pay and they’re always late for rent. he barely even goes to his university because he’s too busy working at his shitty part-time job so they don’t get evicted. and as much as he loves singing and putting on a show at the bar, he absolutely hates his boss and the place he works at.

oikawa sighs as he slips his shirt back on.

he’s glad the man beside him is still sleeping. it means he’s gonna be able to leave quietly without being noticed – which also means avoiding the awkward small talk as he tries to get going without seeming stand-offish –  _ and  _ be able to leave with a little money.

yes, oikawa tooru steals from the guys he sleeps with.

he knows the routine by heart now.

he discreetly tiptoes over to the guy’s wallet and stuffs a few bills – not all of them, because then it would be too noticeable – down his pocket. afterwards, he looks around for a sheet of paper and a pen so he can write a fake number, which is actually kuroo’s, followed with a sweet _call me ;)_ so as to appear emotionally invested and therefore, not suspicious.

he also always makes sure his night companion is always at least tipsy before leaving the bar, just so they don’t find it weird that their wallet is dangerously light in the morning.

the whole plan was genius, kuroo and him had perfected and mastered it over the years. they know it should feel wrong, but it’s either that or starving out on the streets, and in comparison, stealing from their one night stands doesn’t seem so despicable.

and so when he slips out the door that morning, oikawa only feels the slightest bit guilty.

it’s around 6 in the morning when he walks down the streets of buenos aires that are starting to get busy. the sun is rising and the hot summer breeze gently sways his hair and shirt around. he observes with kind eyes the numerous storekeepers setting up their stalls for the traditional saturday market of mataderos. he can practically imagine the buzz that will emanate from it in a few hours and finds warmth seeping into his heart from the thought. he truly does love this city. 

when he enters the apartment, the blinds are all pulled down and the only source of light is coming from kuroo’s laptop, the sound of him typing away at his keyboard the only noise disrupting the peace of the living room.

« tetsu please tell me you actually went to sleep tonight, you can’t afford to pull yet another all-nighter. »

kuroo laughs sheepishly which confirms oikawa’s fears.

« i’m fine, i promise. i just need to get this done this morning ‘cause i know i’ll be too busy later. i gotta go to school in... an hour and a half ? and then my boss is making me work all evening. and when i get back home... »

oikawa waves his hand in his direction with slight annoyance, indicating he doesn’t need for him to continue. he has heard that speech at least a thousand times before.

« yeah, yeah you’ll be too tired to get anything done i know. but this is seriously getting unhealthy. if you keep this up i’ll need to have a word with your manager. »

« what are you, my mom ? »

« boy, i just might be. »

kuroo throws his head back and laughs, stretching his long body still sitting in his uncomfortable desk chair.

« well, if you don’t want to get any rest, i’ll get some for the both of us. »

« rough night, tooru ? »

he immediately recognizes kuroo’s teasing tone even if his best friend didn’t look up from his screen for even a second. but he’s definitely too tired to engage in a battle of wits.

« pretty nice actually, i’m just worn out ! so, on this note... good night tetsu, make sure you drink some coffee or you’ll pass out. »

kuroo throws his hand in the air to wave him goodbye but doesn’t bother to comment on oikawa’s motherly advice, he’s used to his overprotective tendencies and has grown attached to them by now.

« oh and also, don’t worry your pretty little head over rent, i got some money from the guy so with that and our salaries, i think we’re good this month. you can go to school and then home normally, no after hours. »

oikawa doesn’t let him protest, he makes his way down the little corridor and closes the door to his room behind him.

he knows too well that kuroo is and wants to be as invested as him in his work. he knows he also wants to help and doesn’t like to see him carry this weight for the both of them. but oikawa doesn’t let him. he owes kuroo too much already. he knows  _ he _ _’s_ fucked so he at least needs kuroo to have a future. a prosperous one at that.

oikawa won’t go to school today, he won’t even get his textbooks out of his desk drawer, and he also won’t study for the exams looming over him. but that’s something he’s gotten used to, because he’s got no other choice.

—•—

when he wakes up for the second time that day, the sun is confidently filling up the room. he’s groaning as he checks the time, but smiles when he realizes kuroo came to charge his phone for him during his nap. he even got a text from him that said :  _ got to school safely, the guy from last night called and he hasn’t noticed anything missing so you’re good to go.  _ oikawa smirks.

he yawns and stretches until his legs start to shake a little. he runs a hand over his face as he stays laying down over the sheets of his single bed that had crumpled under him during his sleep from his tossing and turning – oikawa only rarely, if ever, has peaceful and satisfying rests – and then gets up. his vision blurs because he stood up too fast but he barely minds it as he makes his way through the apartment. he doesn’t have time for that.

there are new songs he needs to learn. practice starts at 5 pm sharp and he knows the boss hates it when he’s late.

—•—

the night he meets iwaizumi a month later actually starts like any other. and as much as oikawa would hate to admit it later on, it also ends like it. 

the bar’s absolutely packed, so much so that he knows his colleague tony the bouncer had to forcefully keep the long line of awaiting party-animals out.

iwaizumi doesn’t really know why he even agreed to come here in the first place, he’d be willing to switch places with anyone waiting in front of the bar and he’d do it gladly, he wouldn’t even want or need to be thanked for it. his friends from the university had dragged him here pretty much against his will – because let’s be honest, a simple sigh after having refused at least a hundred times does not count as a yes – and so there he is, resting against a wall in the dark while everyone else is either dancing or speaking loudly, without any way out.

so he settles for this : standing up against that dirty wall with a drink in his hand, grumbling deeply, though affectionately, at matsukawa’s words. matsukawa who keeps insisting this is  _ the place to be  _ in buenos aires. surely, this isn’t the best buenos aires could give him, right ? but then again, the two friends do not have the same standards.

this situation was good – well, more like tolerable but let’s not nitpick – while it lasted, but he knows his partner won’t let him off the hook tonight.  _ have some fun iwaizumi _ , he tells him, _ for once in your damn life ! _

and so that’s how he ends up mingling with the crowd, right in front of the stage, locking eyes with a boy whose beautiful chestnut curls fall over his illuminated irises as he sings  _ la lambada.  _

the singer winks, and beside him, his friend screams for him to hear over the loud music.

« he totally checked you out ! it’s like he’s dedicating this song to you ! »

« big fucking deal. i don’t speak portuguese, i have no idea what that guy’s saying right now. so even if he were to dedicate that song to me... »

mastukawa rolls his eyes so far he thinks they might get lost in his skull.

«  _ danca sol e mar, guardarei no olhar o amor faz perder encontar.  _ it means  dance sun and sea, and i’ll keep in mind love makes you lose and then find ... or something like that. »

iwaizumi doesn’t find the strength to sass matsukawa over the deafening music, but that’s also partly because he can’t find anything smart to say. he’s actually pretty impressed.

and so his eyes drift back off to the singer’s figure, swaying his hips to the rhythm, just elegantly taking up the whole stage while barely moving around at all. iwaizumi is enthralled by his presence. he feels deeply that this man is like light, reflected on every surface of the club. the source of this blinding hue is right there in front of him, and yet somehow he’s also beside every single person in the room, occupying their space too. he’s left his mark everywhere.

but when oikawa smiles at him for the second time, he knows the light won’t just bounce off him and leave like it did off everyone else tonight. and from the look he sends him, even matsukawa could tell.

—•—

« oikawa-san, would i be wrong if i said a guy caught your eye tonight ? »

he smirks at shimizu’s seemingly innocent tone. the look on her face tells him everything he needs to know, she had also seen that man who resembled a freaking greek god in the crowd. and she had noticed that oikawa couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

« i think you know the answer to that question kiyo-chan ! i just hope he hasn’t left the bar already... that would just be my luck. »

she waves at him to go and oikawa doesn’t waste a second before sprinting out of the dressing rooms.

his eyes scan the room thoroughly a few times before finally landing on the man’s sturdy figure. he’s sitting on a stool, right in front of the bartender who’s rushing around to get all the orders in time. and thank god he’s alone ! as interesting as his friend looked, oikawa feels much more comfortable approaching him without that intimidating raven-haired man around.

iwaizumi doesn’t notice him until he opens his mouth to speak, he doesn’t even see him sitting down right beside him. something about his cold gaze and his constant frown makes oikawa nervous, but he really wants to steal this man’s heart away for the night. it is now his personal mission.

« so... you’re not much of a dancer, are you ? »

iwaizumi flinches a little when he finally notices a voice he doesn’t recognize suddenly addressing him. though, as he turns to face the person who had uttered these words, he realizes it wasn’t that unrecognizable. his features soften and he even smiles a little.

« is that what you picked up from me ? why’d you think that ? »

« well, people usually like to pull someone close to them and dance with them during  _ la lambada _ you know ?  whereas for you... how can i put this nicely... »

oikawa feigns to be looking for his words, eyebrows furrowed and long fingers gently caressing his chin. iwaizumi chuckles at his antics as he sips his drink.

« let’s just say you were as stiff as a goddamn stick ! i thought you were going to turn into a statue for a hot second. »

« maybe i just didn’t have a partner i actually wanted to dance with yet. »

oikawa is screaming internally. how is this fine man single ? and even more surprising, how hasn’t anyone hit on him yet ?

« then you were right not to dance, it is said that this song is often the one that helps you bring your date back home. could have gotten awkward real fast if you weren’t attracted to your dance partner... »

« is that so ? do you know if another musician is scheduled to play it again tonight then ? »

oikawa gulps, and he’s certain the flush that has taken over his whole body is on full display for everyone to see. he feels like a red light on an isolated road in the middle of the night. 

thankfully, the man breaks the tense silence that was starting to settle between them with a smile dancing on his lips.

« the name’s iwaizumi by the way. »

« oh, that’s nice. »

oikawa blanks for a second before realizing and scrambling over his words in a bashful panic.

« oh, i’m oikawa ! nice to meet you... »

iwaizumi chuckles again.  _ where did all this guy’s confidence go _ _,_ he wonders, amused. oikawa hates the way his own voice shakes with so little confidence, even when he’s saying the most mundane things.

« that sure doesn’t sound like an argentinian name... are you from japan as well ? »

« born and raised in tokyo ! i moved here for my studies a couple years ago. »

« yeah ? what do you major in ? »

_ not in picking up pretty boys, that’s for sure... _

iwaizumi laughs quietly, which makes oikawa realize he actually said that out loud. he now wants to sucker punch himself in the face.

« you’re pretty cute, you know that ? when i saw you on stage, i thought you were just a handsome guy oozing confidence – which, you know, i wouldn’t have minded either – but now that you’re here in front of me... you’re like a scared puppy. and that’s very cute of you. »

okay, maybe he doesn’t want to sucker punch himself in the end.

« but to be honest, i’m not exactly one to talk. i’m usually just as bashful as you are. »

« now that’s something i absolutely do not believe. you’re a smooth talker, full stop. »

« well, let’s just say the few drinks i’ve had kind of help. i’m normally way more silent, my friends tease me about it a lot. »

oikawa smirks. so this man  _ does  _ have some weaknesses.

« so... the guy who was with you earlier also has a habit to poke fun at you ? »

iwaizumi snorts.

«  _ especially  _ that guy. matsukawa has been my best friend for years, teasing me is basically his hobby and he’s damn good at it. the fucker knows too much. he’s the one who insisted you were checking me out. »

« that i was... »

iwaizumi smiles and oikawa catches himself watching him with fond eyes. there’s just something about this man... how he changes from icy to sultry when you start talking to him. he’s still intimidated, that’s for sure, but now it’s more because of iwaizumi’s charms and way less because he thinks this man is going to beat him up. 

« hey, oikawa. can i buy you a drink ? »

with any other man, at that point oikawa would always say that they didn’t have to. since he worked here, he could get free drinks for himself. but something about the way iwaizumi asked him, half vulnerable and half seductive, made him want to agree to any of his demands on the spot.

« i thought you’d never ask. »

iwaizumi smiles a perfect toothy grin and orders something for him. the night is still young.

—•— 

oikawa wakes up with a terrible headache the next morning, but he doesn’t allow himself to let it get to him.

he feels warm, way warmer than usual, and when he slightly turns his head he immediately understands why as his gaze falls upon iwaizumi’s figure. 

and though he knows he needs to leave, he can’t help but admire him for a second.

iwaizumi’s hair is all tousled and the gel he had put in it the day before didn’t hold it up anymore.  _ oh my, i wonder why _ _,_ oikawa thinks with a pleased smile.

his pink lips are slightly parted and from how close he is, oikawa can hear his steady breathing.

he can only catch a glimpse of iwaizumi’s bare chest, hard shoulders and rough collarbones the only thing he can access, because he is pressed firmly against it.

iwaizumi had cuddled up against him during the night, strong arm wrapped around oikawa’s waist, and hadn’t let him go since. it would have made oikawa smile, hadn’t he been in such a hurry.

he slowly takes iwaizumi’s smaller hand – even after a whole night spent together it still amazes him that he’s bigger than this incredibly ripped man – and places it down comfortably on the covers. he feels even warmer when iwaizumi unconsciously presses his hand a little when he feels him pull away.

this time, for a reason he can’t seem to fathom, oikawa actually feels guilty about leaving without a word and with money – and a pretty comfortable amount at that, why was this man’s wallet so full ? – in his pockets. iwaizumi is a good man. not that the guys he usually slept with were all total jackasses but... there was something about this one that had struck a chord with his heart.

if they hadn’t met under those circumstances, if they hadn’t been just a meaningless one-night stand... would oikawa have had the guts to ask him out again ?

he brushes those thoughts aside, the fluid movement of an experienced professional,and gets out of iwaizumi’s apartment.

—•—

oikawa hadn’t expected to see him again so soon. most of the time, but unfortunately not always, the guys he hooked up with either didn’t go back to the bar or straight up ignored him if they did. so he hardly believed it when shimizu told him  _ the greek-god guy  _ was there, waiting at the bar.

as he walks up to him, oikawa tries to come up with excuses to politely turn the man down – excuses he absolutely doesn’t mean but that’s not the point. but as he gets closer he notices that iwaizumi looks positively pissed, if the bouncing of his leg, the clenching of his fist and his frowning brows are anything to go by – though oikawa doesn’t know him well enough to be able to tell if his initial analysis is right. still, he decides to opt for a flirty and seductive tone, just in case.

« hey lover boy, didn’t get enough of me last time ? »

« sure i did. didn’t get enough of my money, though. »

oikawa wills his body not to betray his panic. except for the very first time he had stolen from one of his hook ups, he never got caught by anyone before.

« what ? what money are you talking about ? my services were free, you know that. »

« yeah, that was what i expected when i took you home. what i didn’t expect was for you to help yourself and take most of the money in my fucking wallet. »

oikawa blanks for a second and doesn’t know if he should admit to his fault and accept its consequences or if he should continue denying it.

« i think you might have had too much to drink that night because your memories are clearly warped. »

« contrarily to you, i barely had anything to drink, so maybe i’m not the one who’s having trouble remembering. »

iwaizumi sighs and steps up from the stool he was sitting on, and though he doesn’t tower over oikawa, his anger still makes him look very intimidating. with a movement of his head, iwaizumi shows him he wants to take this talk outside, away from the loud environment of the bar. he knows it isn’t an obligation – oikawa could always choose to stay here, where everyone can see him – but the way iwaizumi looks him straight in the eyes, unwavering, tells him he should at least allow him that. and so he follows him outside.

« look, there’s no point in denying it. i thought i saw you linger when you left and i didn’t think much of it at first. but when i checked everywhere to see where all the money i’d put aside was, even going as far as re-enacting my whole fucking day, and still couldn’t find it, i started suspecting you. »

« you saw me leave ? »

« yeah, i did. wasn’t exactly awake but i was conscious enough to make out your form getting ready. »

oikawa doesn’t know what to say. the only time he got caught, the guy let it slide because he had taken a derisory amount of money. but iwaizumi doesn’t look as indulgent, and considering the amount he took, maybe he’s right not to be.

« i’m sorry iwaizumi, i really am, but i’ve already paid my rent and my taxes, i barely have anything left. believe me, i wouldn’t have taken anything from you if i wasn’t in dire need of it. i promise i’ll pay you back i just-»

« you better get that money back quickly, get another job if this one doesn’t pay enough for all i care. you’re not the only one who needs money here. »

oikawa feels very uneasy being scolded like a child, and a bit angry too. if it were that easy to make money he and kuroo wouldn’t have had to rely on stealing to survive here.

« it’s true i don’t earn a lot here, but trust me i didn’t arrive in argentina last month. i know how life is here. i’ve tried getting another job already, and i just can’t seem to get one. »

« like hell you can’t. i’ll be right here in front of this bar tomorrow morning at 8 and you better be there too. you’re gonna pay me back and quick, we’ll go job hunting. »

oikawa tries to answer but iwaizumi doesn’t let him and the words get stuck in his throat. iwaizumi’s close, very close, and this time he doesn’t like it. his body is too tense, his jaw too clenched, his tone too icy for him to appreciate their proximity. everything about iwaizumi’s body language screams anger.

« don’t you dare try and refuse. you’ve brought this upon yourself, and i’m not gonna let you out of my sight until i get back exactly what you’ve taken from me. »

and with those words, iwaizumi turns his back to him and walks away. 

as he stands there in shock, oikawa barely registers the rushed footsteps approaching him and the sound of a voice he still recognizes to be kuroo’s.

« tooru ! are you okay ? did that creep hurt you ? »

oikawa smiles insincerely at kuroo’s worried face as his friend jogs up to him, still clad in that one t-shirt that will probably forever carry the smell of the restaurant he works at.

« i finished early and i came to pick you up ! did something happen ? »

« i’m fine tetsu, don’t worry. that guy he... »

kuroo is even more concerned as he notices the way oikawa’s voice loses its initial volume and the way he’s hugging himself, as if seeking comfort.

« he found out i stole from him. and... and now he wants me to pay him back. it’s nothing bad, really. »

kuroo approaches him slowly, testing the waters, and then wraps his arms around his form, swaying the both of them gently when he feels oikawa hug him back.

« alright then, we’ll deal with it. i’ll tell my boss i want to work more this month and maybe i’ll be able to- »

« _ no _ . »

kuroo is a little taken aback by his best friend’s cold tone, but oikawa recovers from it quickly and eases his shock with a smile.

« no, tetsu it’s fine really. this is on me, you shouldn’t have to pay for my mistakes. i’m gonna try and find a second part-time job tomorrow... »

« but you already tried finding one ! you visited almost every single company, restaurant or bar that was hiring in the city and none of them took you in... i don’t understand... »

« well... who knows ? maybe now that i’ve gotten a little more experience they’ll accept me. there might even be brand new places i don’t know about yet ! »

oikawa cringes at his false enthusiastic tone and at the look on kuroo’s face that tells him he doesn’t believe it one bit. 

« why don’t you ever let me help you ? you know how much i hate it when i see you overwork yourself for both our sakes when i know i could relieve some of that stress for you. »

« tetsu... »

kuroo sighs and decides to drop it, he knows oikawa won’t budge no matter what he says. he’ll just keep his usual schedule and find a way to make a little more money without his friend noticing.

they do not address the issue even once on the ride home.

—•— 

iwaizumi can’t help but sigh and curse when he finally gets home that night. he can’t believe he’d been so easy and naive, he’d never listen to matsukawa again.  _ have fun my ass _ , he thinks. though he knows it isn’t entirely his friend’s fault. he had flirted with oikawa and brought him home of his own volition. sure, matsukawa had strongly encouraged it but it’s not like the man had put a gun to his head. 

iwaizumi had been distracted by oikawa and he hadn’t been able to see the guy for who he truly was, that’s all. he had been distracted by his silky hair and his soft skin and his strong yet graceful hands and his-

« fuck, i’m trailing off again. »

he ruminates and groans for a minute before deciding he can’t do anything more at the moment and decides he should go to sleep.

he wasn’t thinking straight that night, he let his heart – and maybe something else – control his actions. now he’ll have to pay for his foolishness and wait at least a month to get his much needed money back.

he’s only sure of one thing as he finally manages to drift off to sleep that night : he hates that oikawa-guy’s guts. or at least he should.

—•—

oikawa arrives on time and iwaizumi is there early. he’s waiting propped up against his car in the bar’s empty parking lot, and the look on his face tells oikawa he still resents him and that his opinion isn’t going to change. 

oikawa greets him and iwaizumi doesn’t respond. he simply gets in his car without even sparing oikawa a glance, knowing he’ll follow for sure. it’s not like he has a choice.

« so... where do we start ? »

oikawa is hesitant, he wants to make sure he doesn’t say too much so he won’t get on iwaizumi’s nerves, but he also tries to make small talk because he can’t stand the tense silence that reigns in the vehicle.

« there should be a list i wrote yesterday of all the places i know are hiring right now in the glovebox, help yourself. »

oikawa almost winces at iwaizumi’s icy tone but complies. he knows he has excellent reasons to be mad at him, but he’s there now, he’s trying to make amends and make sure iwaizumi gets back what’s rightfully his. he wishes he would treat him a little less coldly.

« alright, what do we have here... i think i’ve already applied to most of the places on this list when i got here. »

« and not one of them hired you ? »

« no, they always had good excuses. »

« well you better hope their mindsets have changed since, start praying now. »

oikawa sighs, it’s going to be a long day.

—•—

iwaizumi sits through one interview to wait for oikawa. then two, then three, and then he decides to stop counting or he’ll go crazy.

he knows damn well, both from what he can hear through the door and from the look on oikawa’s face when he steps out of each office, that no one is willing to hire the thief. still, he asks every time, though after a couple of interviews he doesn’t even need to express his question out loud for oikawa to answer. 

_you don’t fill the right qualifications, you don’t have enough experience, you’re too young_ ,  and the comment that confused iwaizumi the most :  _ we don’t trust people who work at el huerto secreto.  _ oikawa feels obligated to explain.

« the bar doesn’t exactly have a good reputation, which is probably why they agreed to hire me in the first place. foreigners and students love coming here but to any other argentinian, it’s pretty much the dirtiest place in the city. »

iwaizumi doesn’t know how to answer to that. maybe there’s no right answer, maybe oikawa’s just cursed. either way, he doesn’t want to investigate.

« then why don’t you lie about where you work ? »

« because i want them to hire  me , not a false image i can create for them. they need to know my worth. »

as much as he wants his money back, iwaizumi thinks he can respect that.

the sun is starting to set, the streets starting to cover the city in light when oikawa comes out of the last company of the list, unsuccessful. iwaizumi waits for his face to turn sour, for him to insult all the employers he’d met but he doesn’t. instead, he’s absolutely baffled when oikawa starts laughing, bright and crystalline as the sun turns his brown eyes gold.

« well ! we damn sure wasted a whole day huh ? »

iwaizumi is stunned, standing there just looking at oikawa’s facial expressions as the taller man snickers behind his hand, eye a little wide, mouth a little agape.

« yeah... i guess i did. »

oikawa pouts at iwaizumi’s use of the first person pronoun. he’s the one who got rejected by at least twenty franchises today, he deserves to be included ! but he also understands why iwaizumi wouldn’t want to be involved with him, and can’t find it in himself to blame him for it.

« hey iwaizumi, can i ask you something ? »

« sure, go ahead. »

« what do you even need that much money for ? »

iwaizumi doesn’t respond right away, looking straight ahead as they keep walking side by side to the car.

« that’s none of your business. your only issue should be how to get it back. »

oikawa sighs internally, understanding now that iwaizumi had closed all the doorsto his heart he had previously managed to burst through that night. he had replaced them with armored doors, and when he decided it wasn’t enough, he added countless locks on it. oikawa has to stay out, he’s an intruder.

« alright... well, since plan A didn’t work, you’ll just have to wait a month. and when i get paid i’ll give all of it to you. »

iwaizumi hums. the car is right around the corner and oikawa doesn’t have any conversation subject for the ride.

« iwaizumi, i’m really sorry. i wish i could have done a better job of convincing these employers to hire me... »

he pauses, his hand on the handle. he mumbles.

« it’s not your fault. i’ll just bug you until the end of the month so you won’t forget that you owe me. »

they get back to the parking lot – which is now starting to fill up – quietly, stunned on one’s part, slightly less annoyed on the other’s. 

—•—

and so, just as he had so ominously promised – because iwaizumi is a man of his word – he spends every free night of his at el huerto secreto, so much so that oikawa’s coworkers now call him  _ totito’s friend _ _,_ or worse,  _totito’s iwa_.  no matter how many times he tells them he‘s here for “business”– as much as he resents him for what he did, he doesn’t want to get oikawa into a tougher situation at work – they just keep shrugging him off and calling oikawa over to keep him company.

oikawa would love to say that after a little more than a week of going job hunting together, they’ve finally gotten as close as lovers again. but the truth is, iwaizumi still keeps his guards up when he’s there, though oikawa doesn’t bother walking on eggshells around him anymore. he’s gone back to being his flirty and teasing self, just as he would have been from the start, had they not been fated to connect under those... exceptional circumstances. 

in oikawa’s eyes, iwaizumi is tough and cold. an unwavering, unforgiving force that comes to sit everyday at the stool furthest from the dance floor at midnight sharp. in reality, iwaizumi isn’t that sure of himself as he had told oikawa before, though the taller man hadn’t believed him then. in his defence, he really does try his best to hide any sign of oikawa’s behavior ever affecting him. but the way he’s always compulsively throwing off his drenched-in-sweat t-shirt in the laundry basket as soon as he enters his appartement, cheeks still covered in red gives him away. he had never realized how glad he was to be able to live alone in his own apartment – where no one would pester him about the slight trembling of his hands and rapid beating of his heart –before falling prey to oikawa’s witty comebacks and sultry compliments, although he’d never admit it aloud. 

tonight is no different. oikawa’s right there next to him, still slightly disheveled from performing around 7 songs in a row – tonight was probably the busiest of the week – and running to get to him, hands waving around as he tells him another story about one of his coworkers. 

oikawa rarely ever speaks of himself, iwaizumi notices. he’s always quick to extol the merits of others, whether it’s his coworker kiyoko’s grace and elegance or toni’s strength and exuberance, his best friend kuroo’s hardworking nature, or his boss’s... well, he never really boasts about his boss for some reason, but still, he talks about him more than he does about himself. iwaizumi had selfishly expected oikawa to be the type of person to constantly make themselves the center of the conversation. “selfishly” because then he would feel less guilty about ignoring his advances and overall not caring much for him. “selfishly” because he knows that if he allowed himself to, he could come to take a liking to oikawa. 

now, denial or actual annoyance, iwaizumi refuses to dwell on the subject.

but it may be this sudden realization that pushes him to accept the offer when oikawa suggests going for a walk that night.

iwaizumi regrets accepting, oikawa kind of regrets asking, for the walk to the artificial beach is silent, terribly and unbearably so. iwaizumi’s hands are shoved in the pockets of his shorts and oikawa’s are swinging lightly in the air, as if enjoying the light breeze caressing them. when the beach is finally in view, his eyes light up and he grabs iwaizumi’s wrist, startling him in the process, to pull him along quicker.

they don’t really mind sitting on the sand, they know it might not be the cleanest but iwaizumi insisted on checking before they got comfortable so they know they’re safe. although “comfortable” probably isn’t the term iwaizumi would have used as he still feels quite awkward sitting there, toying with his fingers, looking at the sand which actually doesn’t look like that of a paradise island at all.

« so iwa, how are you enjoying argentina so far ? »

« that’s iwaizumi to you... »

oikawa had started this habit of calling him iwa two days after the job hunt, although iwaizumi never actually gave him the right to. usually, people found him too cold and intimidating to ever dare tease him with a nickname. sure, matsukawa and his other best friend hanamaki had called him  _ iwa-chan  _ a few times when they wanted a favor from him, and then again they never really got away with it. sure, his mother constantly uses varying terms of endearment for him because she still considers him her baby. but that was it, no one else tried to overstep his boundaries, and if they did, he made sure they would never do so again. but oikawa’s insistent, he’s not easily swayed and he’s convinced a simple shortening of his name isn’t as big of a deal as iwaizumi makes it out to be. and iwaizumi unfortunately finds himself letting it slide without too much resistance.

« you’re saying that like i just landed here two days ago. »

« well, you actually never told me when you did, so i just assumed, i guess ? »

« yeah, you’re not wrong. »

_ didn’t think you’d be that observant, oikawa. _

« i came here a couple months ago, i think ? the university i go to in california has some sort of program where you can choose a country to study and live in for six months or so, to broaden your horizons i guess. »

« california ?! didn’t think you’d be such a traveler ! »

« hey, what’s that supposed to mean ? »

oikawa laughs wholeheartedly at iwaizumi’s offended expression, eyes closed and head thrown back. iwaizumi simply scoffs and tears his gaze away from the man still giggling beside him.

« why did you choose to travel so far ? i mean, from japan to california, and then california to argentina ? you’re full of surprises ! »

iwaizumi looks down at his never still fingers, the shadow of a nostalgic smile dancing on his lips.

« i came to argentina to learn more about volleyball. well, beach-volley to be exact. wanted to go to brazil but the school didn’t allow me to. »

« huh ? you like volleyball ?! »

iwaizumi chuckles, saying he  _ likes  _ volleyball would be an understatement.

« yeah, i’m studying to become an athletic trainer actually, why ? »

« well um... i used to play volleyball, back when i was in high school. »

oikawa almost looks bashful and if iwaizumi had known him better he would have noticed the nostalgic light in which his face shone.

« for real ? when you were still in japan ? what team were you in, i might have heard of it. »

« uh... nekoma, i don’t know if you- »

« you played for nekoma ?! like... tokyo’s nekoma ? battle at the trash heap, cat-like team nekoma ? are we talking about the same school here because i’m not sure... »

« hey you’re hurting my feelings here, iwa... »

«  _i-wa-i-zu-mi_ , how hard is it to remember a simple name ? »

even through his mask of annoyance, the only right word to describe the look on iwaizumi’s face as he watches oikawa intently is  _ flabbergasted _ , and he can’t help but chuckle at his funny expression, just a little.

« but yeah, i was a setter for nekoma. my best friend actually was the captain, you might have heard of him... not to toot his horn but he was a very renowned middle blocker. »

« wait, wait, wait. are you saying... that you’re best friends with kuroo tetsurō ?! okay now this is like... a lot to take in, alright ? »

oikawa’s laughing out loud this time, he just can’t help it when iwaizumi keeps acting so cute.

« oh my god, you’re even more of a volleyball nerd than i am, this is priceless. »

« and i’m not even ashamed of it, go ahead and mock me all you want. »

« aw, that’s actually kind of adorable. »

iwaizumi groans and immediately puts back his mask of indifference on, a mask that oikawa wants to pull off and throw far away at any cost. 

« couldn’t you have studied volleyball in japan though ? there are a lot of talented players and trainers there, that much i know. so... why travel so far ? »

oikawa doesn’t miss the way iwaizumi’s gaze falls far away from the both of them, looking out into the dark blue night sky buenos aires playa is offering them, as if seeing something oikawa’s eyes never will.

« my team never went to nationals. »

sharp intake of breath, clasping of his hands, gaze still somewhere very far away from here.

« and i think... for the longest time i’ve blamed myself for it. because i wasn’t the captain nor the ace they needed me to be.when we failed to make it to nationals once again in our third year, i completely lost it... and ever since then, i’ve felt the need to go as far away from miyagi as i could, though i still couldn’t bring myself to give up on volleyball. »

« and... do you think you’ll ever be able to go back ? »

iwaizumi remembers everything he associates with his life in miyagi, because he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss the tender smell of his parents cooking his favorite buns on sundays, the excitement of practicing with his team until late in the night, the now bittersweet dates he spent under the cherry blossoms in april, the lunches he’d shared with his friends on the playground of his school... most of all, he thinks about future opportunities, ones that he knows for sure are within his reach if only he just outstretched his arm a little.

« i hope so, i want whatever talent i’ve been polishing all these years to pay off and for my homeland to benefit from it. that’s all i’ve ever desired. »

oikawa smiles at this, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and if iwaizumi had been more attentive to his body language, he would’ve noticed the almost subconscious way he had reached for his right knee.

in the end, oikawa’s glad he had the guts to ask him out tonight.

—•—

it’s later then usual when iwaizumi finally gets to plop down on one of the bar stools at el huerto secreto. one of his teachers had organized a trip all the way to mar del plata to see some beach volleyball games, and considering the five hour drive, he had had to wake up extremely early that morning. to say he’s worn out now would be an understatement.

« are you okay, iwaizumi-san ? »

he’s so tired he almost misses the saccarine voice calling out to him. when he raises his head, his exhausted gaze meets a beautiful woman’s shiny one. she’s magnificent, even under the violent lights of the bar. her black hair is sticking to her shoulders and her cheeks are slightly red from the heat of the place. her smile is radiant even in the dark, if not just the slightest bit insincere.

« um... have we met before ? »

she chuckles and pours iwaizumi his usual.

« don’t worry, your memory’s fine. we have never been introduced to each other officially, although i’ve heard a lot about you from oikawa-san... i’m kiyoko, he might have mentioned me...? »

_ oh... so that’s "kiyo-chan" huh... _ iwaizumi is at a loss for words and, quite honestly, a bit out of it, so he’s having a little trouble keeping up with the simplest conversations. earlier, matsukawa had asked him what he wanted for dinner and he answered _“_ _sleep"_.  he’s absolutely certain his best friend will not let him live it down.

« oh, yeah he actually talks about you quite a lot... not that he’s interested in you like that, though ! well i actually don’t know about that, i never really asked him... wait, that was really rude to say, right ? i’m so sorry ! »

« well, well, well, aren’t you extremely chatty tonight, iwa ? »

oikawa’s arm around his shoulders is heavy but comforting and iwaizumi unconsciously finds himself wanting to lean on him, although he actually ends up shoving it off with an annoyed  _ shut up. _

« i never said you could call me iwa... »

oikawa downright ignores him.

iwaizumi stays watching as his friend – wait, isn’t he supposed to hate him ? – simply starts chatting with kiyoko. 

he envies the natural and professional way oikawa is able to handle any and every type of conversation. seeing him interact with someone always makes him feel uncomfortable, left out, like he’s not normal for being so shy and secluded. though on second thought, it might be oikawa who’s inhuman.

iwaizumi scolds his tired brain for making him think of his own weaknesses.

when kiyoko ends up facing too many clients to keep on talking to oikawa, the latter’s eyes finally land on iwaizumi. he doesn’t want to even think he’s been craving his attention, he just blames it on the fact oikawa’s usually always annoying him. and yet, he still feels frustrated.

« so, you didn’t exactly make the best impression on kiyoko... though she won’t really blame you for it, you kinda look like you’ve been through hell right now. »

iwaizumi shrugs.

« ‘m fine. it’s just stressful to chat such a pretty girl up. seriously, she’s so sweet and just... i don’t know, i can’t find the right words. how are you even able to work with such a beauty ? »

it’s almost like he can physically feel oikawa tense up beside him, even if he still has that dumb smile plastered all over his face.

« i’m gay, iwaizumi. »

iwaizumi just stares at him, dumbfounded.  _ hadn’t taken that into consideration... _

he sees oikawa’s gaze switch from slightly annoyed to predatory, almost dangerous as he stands up to close the distance between them.

« and from what i know about you... i’m pretty confident you are too. »

« who tells you i’m not... bi or... pan. »

oikawa chuckles but it’s visible on his face that he doesn’t find the situation that funny. he wraps his arms around iwaizumi’s hips, his hands instinctively settle on oikawa’s forearms. their height difference is even worse now that he’s standing and iwaizumi can tell he’s at his mercy.

« well, your stuttering is quite a good indicator, for starters... »

iwaizumi gulps.

« and i can assure you, from what i’ve seen and heard that night we spent together... »

oikawa’s leaning even closer now, lips brushing against iwaizumi’s ear.

« ...a woman could never satisfy you. »

he’s smirking as he pulls away from their intimate position.

iwaizumi’s frozen, eyes wide and mouth agape. he begs his heart to stop racing or he’s positive he could pass out.

« dear god iwa, you look like a deer caught in headlights ! can’t handle my teasing anymore ? »

once again, that humorless laugh. it makes iwaizumi shiver.

« i’m afraid i won’t be able to keep you company tonight, i’ve got things to do. so i’ll leave you be, just this once. »

and without as much as a goodbye, oikawa smiles and leaves him alone, still in the exact same position he was in when he’d-... 

iwaizumi doesn’t even know how to describe just what oikawa had done to him. the only thing he knows is it definitely had its effect on him.

handing a few bills to kiyoko who gave him a knowing smile, he followed right after oikawa into the deep night of buenos aires.

—•—

iwaizumi’s feet unconsciously guide him to the beach oikawa had brought him to about a couple days ago, as if on instinct. and just as if it had been predicted, he spots oikawa’s figure there, though he’s not alone.

he’s standing with three other people in front of what looks like a makeshift volleyball court, and iwaizumi barely resists the urge to approach him.

ever since their talk right here on the beach, he’s been craving to see what oikawa’s capable of. craving to see the way he tossed, the way he could toss to  him.

as oikawa looks around, his eyes find iwaizumi standing a few feet from him. he hesitates a second. he’s still kind of mad at him, though he can’t exactly pinpoint why.

« yo, totito. is that creepy dude a friend of yours ? he’s been staring for a while. »

oikawa finds himself smiling at iwaizumi’s constipated face, it’s so obvious he’s trying to hold his excitement in.

_cute_.

« yeah... my friend... guess you could say that. »

he misses the confused looks his teammates are giving each other.

all previous anger and tension that lay between them vanishes in the blink of an eye. now the only thing oikawa wants is to play alongside him, make sure he gets the absolute most perfect tosses to him so he’ll destroy his opponents – _his_ _ friends _ , oikawa reminds himself. he often gets too carried away when it comes to volleyball.

« do you guys think you could let him play with me ? just one game. »

« sure, can’t see why not. are you sure he’ll be able to han-... and he’s off to get him already... why doesn’t he ever let me finish my sentences, that bastard. »

iwaizumi’s all stressed out when he sees oikawa trotting up to him, even more than when he realized he and his friends ended up noticing him.

but oikawa doesn’t give him the chance to apologize as he catches up to him, grabbing his arm and dragging him along.

« you’re my spiker for the night. don’t you dare embarrass me now. »

his tone is teasing, but not tense like it was at the bar. iwaizumi’s face relaxes into a warm smile as he sees the challenging and delighted expression lighting up oikawa’s features.

he feels the hand that rests upon his wrist squeeze it a little.

—•—

« okay, now that was  _ amazing  _ ! »

there’s a little skip in iwaizumi’s step that makes oikawa smile as he walks him home.

« seriously ! i was so tired when i came over, but now i feel like i could participate in a whole ass tournament. »

« yeah, sure... cool it down boy, your trembling hands say otherwise. »

iwaizumi pouts, vexed, and oikawa throws his head back in laughter at the childish face his partner’s pulling.

« stop mocking me ! even your teammates said i was pretty good ! »

« well, the way you tripped and fell face down in the sand truly was remarkable, i can at least give you that. »

« hey, rude ! »

oikawa continues laughing his head off as iwaizumi gently slaps his shoulder, joining him in his glee.

once their laughter dies down, iwaizumi keeps his eyes glued to the taller man’s profile. he’s having trouble keeping the image of oikawa playing out of his head. he just continuously reminds himself of the way oikawa’s face glistened in the moonlight, all focused eyes and wicked smirks. he thinks about the pinpoint accuracy of his tosses, as if they’d been practicing together all their life, and probably previous ones too.

« hey oikawa, can i ask you a personal question ? »

« sure, go ahead. »

iwaizumi looks down briefly, as if wondering how to formulate his question in the best way possible, but his tired brain doesn’t allow him to. and so he turns back to face the man walking beside him.

« why didn’t you pursue volleyball ? »

a grim look dawns upon oikawa’s face and the smile that graces his features is bittersweet as he casts his gaze to the ground.

« as much as i’d love to overshare with you right now, i think this is a story for another time. »

iwaizumi doesn’t try and dig deeper for some information, he know better than to step in someone’s heart uninvited.

« alright, that’s fine. i can wait. »

oikawa feels his heart soar in his chest at what tumbles from iwaizumi’s lips, although he doesn’t say a word. his whole body feels lighter, like the breeze could fly him away.

« by the way... i wanted to apologize, iwa. i’m sorry for trying to assume your sexuality back at the bar, that was insensitive and uncalled for. i’m sorry if i overstepped your boundaries too. »

iwaizumi’s smile is radiant and as much as he wants to tease oikawa, he’s too flustered and happy to even try.

« thank you... it’s really okay, though. i mean... i  _ am  _ gay, so no harm done. i just wanted to get on your nerves i guess, make you lose your cool. what i’m more upset about is you continuing to call me iwa when i specifically told you to stop ! »

as oikawa tenderly laughs at him, iwaizumi gulps and feels his cheeks burning up just from remembering what had transpired a few hours ago, which oikawa doesn’t fail to notice although he doesn’t comment on it this time. 

he doesn’t have to, his smirk says it all.

the rest of the walk is silent, safe for the faint echoes of the parties still animating the city at this hour, and the occasional remarks of oikawa the self-proclaimed touristic guide. 

the night is young and full of promises, ones that the both of them aren’t even aware of yet. the warm argentinian air feels light around them, like they’re floating on a cloud; half on the concrete of buenos aires’s sidewalks, half somewhere else. somewhere that probably doesn’t even exist, but somewhere that holds meaning.

their hands brush against one another as they walk side by side back to iwaizumi’s place. and for the first time since their tacit arrangement started, iwaizumi doesn’t pull away.

—•—

three weeks after their initial encounter, iwaizumi still finds himself driving back to el huerto secreto every night.

he knows now that oikawa isn’t going to run away, that he won’t call some friends of his to beat him up, that he actually wants to give him back what he’s taken from him.

and yet, he still needs to see him six days a week. 

he continues to blame it on his doubts concerning his newfound friend, but he knows deep down that the actual reason is something else entirely.

he knows oikawa has managed to make his way into his heart once again. 

after the job hunt, he hadn’t burst through the doors unexpectedly, shouting  _ i’m claiming this  _ down the empty hallways of iwaizumi’s heart once more.

no, he’s been more gentle this second time around. he memorized the construction, took his time to understand the architecture and had knocked on the door, patiently waiting for iwaizumi to open it. and although he refuses to admit it, both to him and to himself, he can’t deny that oikawa’s inside now, sliding his hands along the tainted walls. 

he can hear him whispering quietly,  _i’m here now_.  and he’s thinking back  _ i’m glad you are. _

iwaizumi sees him perform on stage for dozens and dozens of people every night and his heart swells. he notices him running from the dressing room to get to him and his heart swells. he listens to him ramble about basically everyone he knows and his heart swells. he accompanies him to his after work volleyball games and his heart swells.

he can’t help but hold him in high regard, and at the same time he also knows whatever this is isn’t built to last.

and the phone call a certain someone just gave him reminds him of the inevitable end of their relationship.

he’s not even sure he can call it that. _a_ _ relationship... _

he’s in an unbelievably bad mood when he enters the bar that night. he can physically feel himself making a mistake but can’t stop himself from going through with it.

oikawa immediately spots him in the crowd and flashes him a dazzling smile, one that almost makes iwaizumi regret what he knows he’s about to say.

he’s still as breathtaking later on when iwaizumi spots him doing his usual little sprint to come up to him, still clad in that black dress shirt iwaizumi thinks fits him so well.

« hey, iwa ! did you enjoy the show– »

« i need my money back,  _ now. _ »

oikawa freezes for a second. he almost laughs dryly. what the hell even prompted this request ? 

for some reason, this tastes like betrayal. why did he ever expect anything else ? why had he insisted on  _ reading the signs  _ between them, even at the risk of reading them wrong ? 

a part of him wants to believe this isn’t happening.

« a-are you joking ? you know this is my only source of income and i haven’t been paid yet. i’ve tried talking with my boss to get my paycheck early but apparently that’s not possible. i thought you were okay with waiting... »

he knows it isn’t his fault, he’s believed him from the first time they met and he’s certain he isn’t lying now. but iwaizumi’s desperate at this point and he might have broke down into tears already if it wasn’t for his petty pride. maybe it would have even alleviated the situation, but he doesn’t allow himself to.

« the situation’s changed and i’m not gonna wait anymore. go hook up and steal from other guys for all i care ! doesn’t matter how you do it, i need it back. can you get that through your thick skull ? do you think you can take so much away from someone and just... get away with it ?! »

oikawa’s previous joy upon seeing him has completely deserted him now. the only thing his entire being is allowing him to feel is resentment.

« huh... is that really how you see me, iwaizumi ? »

_ of course not, you know it’s not _ , is what he wants to say. but not a single word comes out of his mouth, a look of defiance is all they’re able to exchange right now.

oikawa pushes himself up from the counter and turns his back on iwaizumi.

« fine, i’ll get your money back. i don’t have more time to waste on someone who only sees me as a whore anyway. »

iwaizumi’s heart shatters as oikawa slams its doors on his way out, walking up to some random guy that’s been checking him out for hours.

he’s disgusted with himself and craves so badly to be back under oikawa’s gentle chocolate eyes, under oikawa’s comforting halo. 

he’s not sure why he inflicts himself the pain of seeing him flirt and almost make out with someone else when he could just leave the place. 

is this the punishment he himself believes he deserves for hurting someone he undeniably cares about ?

oikawa doesn’t even gift him with a single glance as he walks right past him, hand in hand with that same man that’s been leeching off him the whole night.

iwaizumi tries to reassure himself.  _this relationship was doomed from the beginning_. but nothing makes up for the emptiness the residue oikawa’s presence left behind. 

—•—

iwaizumi doesn’t sleep that night.

he keeps on tossing and turning, sweat clinging to his body as oikawa’s hurt expression and disappointed tone replay in his mind.

he feels like crying, there’s so much he wants to tell him but iwaizumi has never been good with words. he wishes he could just drive up to his place, apologize to him and simply sweep him off his feet. 

but he doesn’t cry, and he doesn’t seek oikawa out. those are just meaningless dreams he doesn’t and will never have the guts to accomplish. 

iwaizumi knows he won’t sleep tonight.

he drags his body – which all of a sudden feels made of lead – out of bed and around his apartment. he switches on the smallest lamp of the room, so as not to hurt his eyes. 

he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, sleep induced actions never make much sense.

he digs out his notebook, the one in which he keeps all the quotes, excerpts, works of art, pictures that have ever made him feel something,  _anything_. 

he knows it’s uncharacteristically sweet of him – which is why he’d rather die than let anyone lay their hands on it – but he’s felt numb for so long he needs to hold on to whatever makes his heart react.

(and though he won’t admit it aloud, that includes oikawa now.)

iwaizumi swipes through the pages, not entirely registering all the words, before his eyes fall on one of the quotes he wrote down. one he wrote down right after arriving in california, right after leaving japan and everything he cherishes behind.

_ « everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it. » _

the sight of his hand failing to reach oikawa’s as he harshly let him go earlier that night strikes him down.

he stuffs the notebook back in his drawers, making sure to hide it from everyone, including himself.

he takes a pill and goes to sleep.

—•—

oikawa feels uneasy as he moves around in this unfamiliar bed.

he curses himself for being so easy to provoke. thinking back, he should have been able to tell iwaizumi wasn’t in his normal state. the bouncing of his leg, clenching of his jaw, and most importantly, the fact he tried his hardest to avoid meeting oikawa’s gaze were all perfectly obvious indicators.

_ since when have i been able to tell his mood from his body language ? _ he wonders.

he can’t help dwelling on it though. if he had been more mature, if he wasn’t so hot headed, then he wouldn’t be weeping in a stranger’s bed right now.

he can almost hear kuroo’s mothering tone scolding him,  _« don’t blame yourself for someone else’s behavior »_.  but he’s never been good at following his best friend’s advices.

the red digits of the alarm clock resting on the bedside table of that man he didn’t even bother remembering the name of embed themselves in his mind.  _4:37 AM_.  he sighs and drags a hand across his face before getting up.

oikawa doesn’t feel particularly guilty this time, but he  _ is  _ exhausted, exhausted of leading this life, he fantasizes about living another one. he dreams of a life in which he could spoil both kuroo and himself, in which he wouldn’t have had to give up everything he used to know, in which he would have met iwaizumi differently and would have been able to make him happy instead of losing him for money.

oikawa dreams but he never hopes. if there’s one thing his actual life taught him, it’s that hope doesn’t serve its purpose when you refuse it. deny hope once and it won’t ever come back to you. oikawa knows, for he had paid the price of letting hope go too many times already.

he sinks right into kuroo’s arms the second he gets back home, enjoying the temporary relief of his best friend’s warm presence and comforting words.

—•—

iwaizumi hesitates on whether he should go back or never show his face at el huerto secreto again. 

decades of built up pride and ego have continuously kept him from expressing himself wholeheartedly, but decades of built up pride and ego are also being washed away by a few weeks of caring for someone he didn’t think he’d ever grow attached to. 

he feels like he blacked out all the way from his apartment to the parking lot, as if he didn’t even register driving here willingly.

oikawa isn’t on stage yet when he enters. iwaizumi tries to smile when their eyes meet but his friend’s face doesn’t betray even a semblance of emotion.

oikawa spins around and heads out the back door.

iwaizumi sighs at the sight of him leaving but can’t bring himself to blame him, not even for a second. he simply settles on waiting for him to cool down, ordering a drink as he makes himself comfortable on his usual stool.

he isn’t back by the time iwaizumi finishes his drink, and the latter finds his patience wearing thin.  _ so much for being the bigger man _ , he reprimands himself.

still, as much as he wants to give oikawa his space, the need to apologize and make amends is stronger. thus, he soon finds himself following after his friend’s footsteps.

the night air is cold compared to the heat that always seems to make itself at home in the bar. iwaizumi immediately tenses up. the place is dark and oikawa is nowhere in sight.

he hears the remnants of distant voices as he starts walking around to find the very object of his inner turmoil, far away sounds bouncing on the brick walls and echoing around the empty street.

as iwaizumi turns at a corner, he’s able to distinguish a noise he knows way too well. the sound of someone punching someone else, followed by the sound of someone’s body meeting the wall. and sure enough, as his eyes land on the two figures fighting in the dark, iwaizumi recognizes the familiar locks of hair that belong to no other than oikawa. 

he doesn’t even take the time to think before he’s running to them in a hurry to break off the fight. 

pushing the man off of oikawa, far enough for him to stand in front of his partner and wordlessly protect him, iwaizumi grabs the stranger’s collar and looks him dead in the eye, a silent threat. 

much to his dismay, iwaizumi finds not so unknown eyes looking back at him. even in the dark, he’s able to make out the face of the guy oikawa went out with the night before. he looks afraid now that iwaizumi’s holding him in a death grip, tears pooling in his bottom lids and spilling down his cheeks, voice trembling as he stutters.

« i-i’m... i’m not gay, alright ? i don’t know w-what that asshole did to me but... i’m not fucking gay ! »

oikawa scoffs behind him.

iwaizumi lets go off his collar and shoves him off.

« scram. i better not see you here ever again or you’ll answer to me, and for real this time. »

the man doesn’t waste a second before taking off.

iwaizumi immediately turns around and crouches down to check on oikawa who’s sitting against the wall, face smeared with blood.  _ his  _ blood. gently laying a hand on his cheek, hooking his fingers under his chin, iwaizumi inspects his face from every angle. oikawa avoids meeting his eyes at all costs.

« what happened ? what did he do to you ? why didn’t you fucking stand up for yourself ? you could have easily scared him off, unhurt. »

« tell me, iwaizumi. what would people think if word got around that this bar’s employees beat up their own customers ? »

the look in oikawa’s pupils is empty, void of any emotion, and iwaizumi can tell even without asking that this isn’t the first time he’s found himself in this kind of situation. still, oikawa can read the question lingering in iwaizumi’s eyes. he shrugs.

« most of the time, the men i sleep with are confident enough about their sexuality to just go back to their daily lives and usual routine after a hookup. but sometimes, emotionally repressed guys find my way and can’t handle the thought of finally... you know, crossing the line. first time it happened, i defended myself and broke the guy’s nose. the rumor spread, my boss found out and withheld half of my salary. »

oikawa pauses and looks away, unable to maintain eye contact when he notices the change in iwaizumi’s expression.

« it’s easier to shut up and let it slide than to fight back and tarnish the bar’s reputation. i couldn’t care less about my boss getting spitted on by customers, but i can’t let my colleagues lose their job because of me. »

iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say to ease his friend’s obvious pain. instead, he helps him back up before tenderly wiping the blood dripping from his brow. this time it’s his turn to avoid oikawa’s gaze. he hesitates before opening his mouth to speak.

« the first time i came back here... did you think i was... like that guy ? that i was there to hurt you ? »

his words uttered so softly, as if he was scared that the man in front of him would shatter if he spoke too loudly, shake oikawa to his core. he had never seen iwaizumi’s emerald eyes shine quite that way.

« i... honestly don’t really remember. i might have, unconsciously... »

iwaizumi nods and doesn’t add anything. he raises oikawa’s arms and throws it around his shoulders to support him, and then starts walking back to the bar.

« h-hey ! what are you doing ? »

« isn’t it obvious ? »

iwaizumi stops to look him straight in the eye.

« i’m taking you home to fix you up. »

oikawa’s heart is immediately filled with warmth, both from his simple words and from his earnest gaze. for a second, he forgets he should hate him. he forgets he’s the one who put him in this position in the first place.

they walk all the way back to the parking lot, crossing the bar and meeting oikawa’s boss in the process.

« what happened to you, boy ? another one of your flings ?! »

« yes, sir. »

« you have to be on stage in 5 minutes ! go freshen up real quick and get to work. »

before iwaizumi has the time to protest and defend oikawa, a voice makes itself known from behind them.

« it’s fine, boss. i’ll sub in tonight, let him rest. »

oikawa’s ears ring at the sound of the familiar voice. he doesn’t even have to turn around to know who it is.

« wonderful kuroo ! you know it’s always a pleasure to have you. as for you oikawa, don’t think i’ll let you off the hook that easily. »

kuroo passes next to iwaizumi to stand closer to oikawa’s boss.

« i’m sorry, i think you misunderstood sir. if i help you out tonight, there better be no consequences for him. have i made myself clear ? »

kuroo’s dark aura makes it sound more like an affirmation than a question, but the middle aged man in front of him doesn’t back down. he simply shrugs and walks away.

as soon as he’s out of earshot, oikawa’s pleading voice calls out to his best friend. kuroo raises his hand to stop him from saying anything. his eyes are kind when he looks at his injured roommate.

« it’s fine, tooru. it’s time i return the favor and do something for you for once. »

his expression changes drastically when he turns to iwaizumi, tone icy and curt.

« you. be careful and take good care of him. »

« that’s what i intended to do from the beginning. »

he looks iwaizumi up and down before heading off to the dressing room.

minutes later, iwaizumi’s lowering oikawa on the passenger seat of his car.

« hey, i’m fine. see ? still got both of my hands, i can fasten my seatbelt on my own ! »

oikawa’s heart is pounding in his chest as iwaizumi lingers, face inches away from his as he gives up on helping him any further. he immediately misses his warmth. in seconds, iwaizumi’s seated comfortably in the driver’s seat.

the trip to his place is as silent, but even more tense, as the job hunting one. at least ten minutes go by without either of them uttering a single word. then, iwaizumi breaks the uncomfortable silence.

« i’m sorry about what i did last night. i was mad about something and i took it out on you. you didn’t deserve that and i really regret it. i didn’t mean any of the terrible things i said to you, i’m sorry. »

a pause.

« i know i’m usually... not really the type to engage in long conversations, but i do think we have a lot to say to each other. »

as they head back to iwaizumi’s apartment, the concrete roads of buenos aires carry the weight of their unspoken words.

—•—

climbing the stairs to iwaizumi’s apartment had never been so tiring. oikawa can perfectly handle himself, but the shorter man besides him insists on supporting him all the way up. oikawa can’t help but think they look like they’re in a movie right now, when the love interest knocks on the main character’s door, all beaten and bruised, mysteriously asking for them to heal them while never saying exactly what happened to them.

except in this case, iwaizumi actually saw him get attacked and had taken it upon himself to care for him. he doesn’t know if he should feel humiliated or glad. maybe both.

iwaizumi struggles to unlock the door with the body of his wounded friend weighing on his back but he doesn’t ask for help, not even once.

iwaizumi’s apartment isn’t too big but it feels warm and welcoming. there are some pictures taped to the wall, next to a poster of earvin ngapeth, the volleyball player. oikawa smiles at the sight of the plants and blooming flowers adorning the place. iwaizumi’s bed is neatly done and the only thing out of place is what oikawa supposes is his school work. dozens of sheets of paper litter the wooden kitchen table, spread around iwaizumi’s laptop. he wouldn’t have expected his apartment to look like that. he wants to tease him but his heart feels so full that the words get stuck in his throat.

iwaizumi gently guides him to the bathroom, slowly sitting him down on the edge of the tub. he signals oikawa to wait for him with a simple raise of his index finger. he’s back seconds later, first aid kit in hand, dragging a chair behind him. he pulls the chair as close as humanly possible to oikawa before sitting down in front of him. 

iwaizumi’s silent at first – safe for the soft  _ brace yourself, it might sting a little  _ – as he carefully dabs an antiseptic-soaked cloth to oikawa’s face. he applies some bandaids to the little cuts that stuck to the brunet’s skin and checks for a concussion. then, he asks him to take off his shirt, and this time oikawa doesn’t let the opportunity to tease him slip past him.

« you’re skipping steps there iwaizumi. you know... guys usually ask me out on a date before undressing me... »

it might have been more effectively seductive if he hadn’t winced while shedding the shirt off his back, iwaizumi staying as composed as ever constitues an element of failure.

« you might wanna cool down boy, i just need to check for any broken ribs. plus, i’ve already seen you naked anyways. it’s nothing new. »

iwaizumi smirks at oikawa’s red cheeks and frustrated pout, happy to be the one to render him speechless for once. 1 point for iwaizumi, 0 for oikawa.

a few minutes of silence slip by as iwaizumi runs his fingers all over oikawa’s chest. he takes a deep breath, still focused on his task, before speaking.

« i’m going back to japan. »

oikawa physically feels his heart drop at the words. he’s confused but iwaizumi doesn’t let him ask any question.

« the night we met, i was actually celebrating that with my friends. a coach i really admire was willing to take me in as his assistant for a while. »

« that’s... an amazing opportunity, iwaizumi. »

his hands stop moving around and he rests them on oikawa’s lap as he sighs.

« hey, my name isn’t iwaizumi. »

« what do you mean ? of course it is, you always- »

« not to you, it isn’t. you took up a habit, might as well stick to it now. »

oikawa’s thinking he might not survive tonight if iwaizumi keeps on taking him on this emotional rollercoaster. he doesn’t even address the nickname issue again. 

« but yeah, it was an amazing opportunity. until you stole every last peso i had saved to buy my plane ticket. »

« oh... so that’s what all the money was for... »

iwaizumi nods as he finally finishes his check up and actually stares into oikawa’s eyes.

« i didn’t lie to you, i really was fine with waiting. i’d called the guy and he said he was in no rush, didn’t mind waiting some time for me to get home... but that night i snapped at you, i-... »

iwaizumi pulls back his hands to his own thighs and clenches his fists. oikawa’s heart breaks at the sight of his hurt expression. he hesitates a little but he manages to wrap his hand around iwaizumi’s closed fist, gently stroking the rough skin.

« right before coming to the bar, my best friend from home called. and he-... he told me my mom had fainted and was in the hospital. that she was really weak and in a bad shape. that she asked for me to come back to her, to watch over her, just in case she-... »

iwaizumi chokes up and oikawa doesn’t hesitate this time, he gently sets iwaizumi’s head against his chest and strokes his broad back.

« he couldn’t even-... couldn’t even get her on the phone. said she was too weak to even speak. i freaked out ‘cause i knew i was stuck here, i knew i was abandoning her and i couldn’t stand it. i haven’t seen her in so long, all because i was too stubborn to go back to a place that meant defeat to me in fucking high school. »

« i’m so sorry... it’s not your fault, iwa. it’s not your fault. »

slowly, iwaizumi intertwines his fingers with oikawa’s longer ones, squeezing his hand tight.

« still, i-i shouldn’t have gotten so mad. i was so scared of leaving her alone, s-so scared of losing her and not even b-being able to say g-goodbye... but i took it out on you when you were j-just trying your best to h-help me. i’m... so fucking sorry, oikawa. »

« it’s fine, i get it. really, i do... »

oikawa continues to rub his back in silence as iwaizumi sobs softly, tears quietly rolling down his friend’s bare shoulders. it’s been so long since he’s cried, and he’s terrified to realize he feels safer with someone he met barely a month ago than people he’s known his whole life.

oikawa doesn’t know what to say to make him feel better, little does he know his presence is already doing wonders on iwaizumi. still, he finds himself speaking again :

« hey, wanna know why  _ i  _ left japan ? »

iwaizumi raises his head, tear-filled forest green eyes staring down oikawa’s soul. 

« y-you don’t have to if you... if you’re not comfortable talking about it. »

« no i... i think i want to. i want to tell that story. i want to tell  _ you _ . »

iwaizumi murmurs a soft  _ okay _ and tries to steady his breathing, focusing only on the man in front of him. oikawa straightens his posture, takes a deep breath as well, mind and gaze far away from the small bathroom of iwaizumi’s apartment. he’s dwelling back on a time that has only brought him hurt, humiliation and guilt.

« i don’t even know where to start... i’ve never told anyone why i came here. the only one who knows is kuroo, and that’s because he came along. »

iwaizumi keeps his eyes locked on him, listening intently to every word that tries to come out of him. it’s a struggle, he knows this, because overcoming something you never dared facing always leaves you emptied, and he wants to be there for him when he inevitably falls apart.

« i loved japan, i absolutely adored living in tokyo. i loved how big a city it was to me and how small i felt, how badly i wanted to conquer it and call it mine when i was younger. i loved that so many of us shared this unbridled adoration for our home, even when walking down the literal hell that is shibuya ! i spent my time walking through the city, passing by the temples and gawking at the sky tree, as if i hadn’t lived there my whole life... i loved the tall buildings just as much as the narrow streets. i had amazing friends, i was crushing it in school, i discovered my passion, i had loving parents... i was blessed, really. »

iwaizumi waits for the unavoidable downfall. after all, he wouldn’t have left behind a life he enjoyed so much and wouldn’t be so hesitant about bringing it up if there wasn’t any trauma attached to it.

« the first boy i fell in love with was one of my teammates. »

iwaizumi was hoping he wouldn’t go there, and now he fears even more what oikawa will say next.

« he was – and, let’s be honest, probably still is – the kindest person i had ever met, he took such good care of the team. he was so... affable and polite. dependable. every word and touch of his were soft and measured, like he was always thinking of how i’d react and tried to anticipate it everytime. so of course, it was only a matter of time before i fell for him. thinking back, maybe i just liked the validation and reassurance he gave me. i felt deeply that... being loved by him would instantly mean being good, and i wanted so bad to be good, in his eyes and in everyone else’s. »

iwaizumi gently squeezes his hand, a subtle reminder that he’s here and listening, that he isn’t alone anymore. 

« my parents found out, somehow... and so did he, though he’s been way more comprehensive than them, but that’s also just in his nature. »

« and... your parents weren’t supportive of your sexuality ? »

oikawa laughs, but it’s a little too dry to actually be sincere.

« yeah, that would be an understatement actually. i wasn’t sure of my sexuality at the time, all i knew was that i liked a guy and that i had never felt that way about anyone else... but they didn’t care about any of my doubts, they already had me labeled and stigmatized. the first time we sat down and brought it up, they simply gave me an earful the whole night. saying how that wasn’t how they raised me, that they were ashamed of me and how i behaved, that i was  so _egotistical_ because i wasn’t going to provide grandkids for them- »

oikawa wraps a hand around his mouth as he hears a choked sob try to escape from him. but seeing the earnest and tender look on iwaizumi’s pushes him to let down his guard. for once in his  _ entire life _ , he actually craved to be vulnerable.

« fuck... i was only 17, i didn’t deserve that ! »

the sentence comes out strangled but sincere as he drops his face in between his hands. iwaizumi threads his fingers through the hair on the nape of oikawa’s neck, lowering down his head and pressing his lips against his scalp.

« b-but do you know w-what the worst part is ? it wasn’t s-so much that a-argument that hurt me, it’s... the constant avoidance that f-followed. as if i... as if i had become a stranger in m-my own home. as if my v-very existence was now a bother to t-them... »

it’s iwaizumi’s turn to caress his back soothingly with his free hand now.

« i didn’t want t-to put up with that. i could have been the bigger man, make amends and... and repress my feelings so i could fit the p-perfect image of the son they used to cherish once again. but i couldn’t deny who i longed for... and it was obvious everytime i saw him... and anyway, i d-didn’t want to change myself. not for them, not for anyone. so i j-just left. i lived at kuroo’s house for a while, until his father c-called up my parents to tell them where i was staying... as soon as i finished high school, i-i applied to a college here and... used all the money i had saved up to get as far f-from them as i could. turns out they didn’t care much. i think... they wanted me gone just as much as i wanted t-to leave. »

oikawa’s sniffling and he worries he’s ruining iwaizumi’s shirt. he also worries his whole speech isn’t intelligible with how his sobs make him stutter and pause every five seconds. still, he makes no move to back away from the sturdy man’s chest and continues his story.

« t-that idiot kuroo left everything h-he knew to come with me... he preferred to abandon the life he had p-planned and refuse his family’s help... all because they d-didn’t support me. i think i’ll spend a lifetime repaying him, a-and it still won’t be enough. »

« i’m convinced he didn’t do it so you’d repay him, oikawa. »

« i know that... but i fucking r-ruined his life iwa, of course i h-have to repay him. »

oikawa’s barely sitting on the bathtub now, every second brings him closer to iwaizumi. he steadies his breathing, tired by the tears that are starting to dry on his cheeks.

« this whole story might seem horrible, and quite frankly it... has been for me. but still, i love living here... for as long as i live, buenos aires will forever be the place where i was... reborn. this city has given me a second chance, a second shot at life. i’ve been rebuilding myself ever since. it’s... tough. and obviously, i still need to work on myself, because i know... my behavior has been hurting me more than anything else but... my life here has also given me good things. it’s given me... a truly unbreakable bond with my best friend, it’s given me colleagues i cherish with all my heart, teammates that care for me and bring me to victory, a heart that’s been strengthened, and it has shown me that heart also needs to soften and open itself up sometimes... »

oikawa smiles against the skin of iwaizumi’s neck. he can feel his pulse, the fast and steady beating of his heart.

« it’s given me you. »

he feels it skip a beat. 

iwaizumi grips oikawa’s thighs and pulls him on his lap, wrapping his arms tighter around him.

« god... do you even have  _ any  _ idea what you’ve been doing to me ever since i met you ? fuck, oikawa... »

oikawa chuckles as his lips involuntarily brush against iwaizumi’s warm and soft skin.

« you’re a pain in the ass, you’re too flirty for your own sake, you’re awkward at times, you’re always putting others before you instead of taking care of your own damn self... »

oikawa groans softly in protest but he doesn’t stop him, hearing the underlying smile in his tone without even looking up.

« you’re an amazing setter, a great performer, you’re the best colleague anyone could ever ask for... hell, i haven’t even had the time to be bored once ever since you came into my life. you stumble and you fall, but you always get back up, not exactly steady but still here. you annoy the ever loving life out of me and yet... »

iwaizumi takes oikawa’s chin in between his fingers, tilting his chin up so they’re finally at eye level.

« and yet, i’m so glad i met you too. »

both their smiles are nothing short of luminescent.

they don’t kiss that night, although they both secretly crave to. but each of their words and each of their touches carry the weight of their unspoken passion, gazes heavy with understanding, breathing steady with longing and laughs melodious with shared affection.

—•—

ever since then, iwaizumi finds himself smiling a lot more.

it’s been a little over a month since their initial encounter. oikawa had given him a part of his salary, completing iwaizumi’s own savings – though if he hadn’t insisted, oikawa would have given him the entirety of his paycheck. he’s had his mother on the phone, still weak and asking for him, but healthy enough for him to feel at least a little bit relieved. he has even been looking for the best plane tickets prices lately.

and yet he’s still here tonight, at the same place. on second thought, scratch that, he’s moved a little. he’s in the middle of the rowdy crowd instead of his usual spot at the bar this time.

no, right now he’s more than ecstatic to be seeing oikawa and kuroo perform  _ un beso  _ by aventura together. he’s grinning at the unabashedly happy expression oikawa’s showing as he’s singing and having the time of his life on stage with his best friend. he’s dancing around, twirling around kuroo as he grabs his hand, doing a whole choreography with his smile never faltering.

iwaizumi finds himself dancing, however modestly, and waving his drink around, unconsciously singing along to the lyrics. 

_ “por un beso de su boca voy al cielo y hablo con dios, alcanzo las estrellas de emoción.” _

there’s something bittersweet about the radiant smile they exchange as their eyes meet.

iwaizumi thinks of what will happen next, of what will happen when he eventually flies back to japan. when he leaves oikawa behind.

his departure is no secret between them, and yet it’s never been addressed ever since the night he had mentioned it. it’s been like a sword of damocles hanging over their heads, like a wind of doubt threatening to crash upon the both of them sooner rather than later.

_ “que solo por un beso se puede enamorar. sin necesidad de hablarse, solo los labios rozarse, cupido los flechará.” _

oikawa winks at him and although he smiles back, his heart feels heavy now.

just as he read in his notebook earlier that day, _«_ _the tides inside your heart still pull me towards you »_.  and yet he knows an entire ocean will soon separate the both of them and there’s nothing he can do to brace their fall. he sighs.

—•—

iwaizumi’s outside, resting his back against the fresh brick wall of the bar. he told oikawa he  _needed to take a breather_.  truth is, his mind is still running a mile a minute and being inside or outside barely makes a difference.

he slightly tilts his head when he hears the main door open, curious to see who would leave so early, and his eyes meet kuroo’s glinting amber ones.

« hey, i’ve been looking for you. »

kuroo’s tone is softer than it was the first time they met, though his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

iwaizumi straightens his posture as he stands beside him, lighting a cigarette in the process.

« i think we need to talk about tooru. »

iwaizumi’s heart clenches when he realizes he didn’t even know oikawa’s first name. he looks down at his feet and nods, feeling like he’s being scolded by the different degree of intimacy they both share with the setter.

kuroo takes a drag from his cigarette and the smoke spreads in the tense air between them. 

as kuroo lets it escape from his lips, iwaizumi finds himself thinking the raven-haired man is a dangerous kind of attractive. he oozes the color red, oozes confidence and passion and intelligence. oikawa would almost look innocent in comparison, dainty and elegant while kuroo’s attractively sly and mysterious. almost scarily so.

iwaizumi knows from all the stories oikawa has told him that’s not all there is to the tall man standing next to him, and yet he can’t help but feel a little intimidated.

« so, you’re going back to japan right ? »

« yeah, i guess oikawa told you. »

« he has, though he hasn’t mentioned it a lot. »

he smiles as he looks down at iwaizumi.

« he’s really attached to you, i hope you know that... i  _ think  _ you know that. »

« i... figured so, yeah. »

kuroo chuckles at the almost inaudible mumble of  _ so am i  _ that iwaizumi can’t stop himself from uttering.

« it’s obvious you care for him too so... sorry if i seem intruding, i’m sure you understand where i’m coming from, but do you really plan on leaving ? »

iwaizumi finally dares meet his eye and finds himself gaping at the earnest concern that lies in his golden orbs.

« sometimes, i find myself wishing i didn’t have to leave. i hadn’t planned on meeting him but, ironically, i had planned on leaving the very night we crossed paths... »

iwaizumi clenches his fist in frustration.

« there are too many things tying me to japan that i can’t bear to abandon, he knows that just as much as i do. and yet... and yet i-... »

« and yet you don’t wanna leave him behind either. »

iwaizumi whispers a quiet  _ yeah, exactly. _

« i thought about asking him to come with me, and sometimes i still think i need to try but... it wouldn’t be fair to make him leave a country where he feels safe to go back to a place that hurt him so bad he had to run away from it. »

kuroo can’t help but gape at him for a second, stunned by what he just heard, before throwing his head back in laughter. iwaizumi’s a little bit offended but he doesn’t say anything.

« ah, fuck ! and here i thought you might not have been serious about him ! looks like i was worried for nothing. thank god... thank god he decided to get involved with you and not some other random guy. »

« uh... thanks, i guess ? »

kuroo’s grinning for real this time, smile so big his eyes are almost closed as he rests his hand on iwaizumi’s shoulder.

« look, i can’t tell you how to handle this situation. either way, it’s gonna be complicated, and i think you both know that. but... i’m touched by how respectful of his feelings you are. i mean that. and i’m glad he met someone as caring as you. »

iwaizumi’s undeniably happy. he can’t believe he’s being called  _ caring _ . that’s never been a word used to describe him.  _ rough, stand-offish, cold, detached  _ and  _ egotistical  _ are terms he’s way more used to. and he always thought he was fine with it, but for some reason he’s ecstatic to know he’s not defined by these adjectives, not when it comes to oikawa.

« you know, oikawa has always been the type of person that cares enormously about other people, almost to a fault. he feels guilty for shit he hasn’t even done and apologizes for things that aren’t of hisown doing. i’m sure you’re aware. he’s a stubborn ass and he doesn’t let anyone take care of him... »

kuroo throws his cigarette in the ashtray next to the entry before turning back to iwaizumi.

« so thank you, iwaizumi. for everything you’ve done for him, and everything you’ve pushed him to improve about himself. and good luck on your return to japan ! make sure to send pictures ! »

he’s smiling widely as he makes his way back inside, leaving iwaizumi content, but still full of questions.

—•—

« it’s awfully sweet of you to bring me here, iwa. i mean, my favorite place is still your apartment but this is the next best thing ! »

oikawa’s beaming as he sits across him in the cute cafe iwaizumi had picked out for them. he likes to see him so at ease outside of the workplace and iwaizumi can’t resist the urge to smile, just by seeing him being himself, ordering a tea and filling him in on the details of his life he’s missed since... well since they’d last seen each other the night before. he finds him adorable, him in his oversized shirt that drowns his muscular form, him blowing softly over his beverage, him making so many hand movements as he speaks. he finds oikawa heartbreakingly endearing. when he notices his silence, oikawa arches one of his eyebrow, a faint smile painted on his lips.

« am i  _ that _ pretty that you can’t stop looking at me ? »

« well, can’t deny you’re easy on the eyes. »

iwaizumi snickers at his flustered expression, knowing damn well he’s not used to him actually flirting back.

he wants to savor the moment, ingrain this aspect of oikawa in his mind, keep this image in his wallet forever, like the relic of someone he’ll always carry in his heart. he can see it from here, friends and family asking him about the man in the picture he always has on him, and remembering this mess of a story.

but he also realizes this outcome only exists in a time where oikawa isn’t in his life anymore, however he doesn’t want that happening either. and yet...

« i think you know why i asked you to come here ? »

oikawa chuckles dryly, eyes glued to the movement of his spoon stirring his tea.

« i mean... i have my guesses but i’d like it if you spelled it out for me. »

iwaizumi inhales deeply.

« i... i finally booked my flight ticket. i leave in three days. »

and although he knew all along why he had sought him out today, oikawa can’t help letting his emotions get to him. it’s obvious in the way his heart drops, in the way his eyes instinctively water for a split second, in the way every single muscle in his body tenses up, in the way his cheeks strain as he forces a smile on his face.

« that’s... great, iwa. i’m happy for you ! »

his strangled voice barely makes its way to iwaizumi’s ears.

« i’m about to suggest something very selfish right now, so please don’t hate me for it but... you wouldn’t... come with me by any chance ? i get that it’s a lot to ask, but i at least wanted to try my luck. »

the sad smile that graces his features breaks iwaizumi’s heart even further.

« as much as i’d love to go with you, i’m not ready to go back yet. i told you argentina has brought me a lot, but i still haven’t gotten all the answers to my questions... hell, i don’t even know what i want to do for a living, how would i even survive in japan ? »

he laughs but there isn’t a single trace of humor in it. it seems like the lightness of the room they were basking in moments ago has vanished completely.

iwaizumi trails his fingertips against oikawa’s hand who’s gripping his cup of tea so tightly his knuckles turned white.

« hey... you know, you still haven’t told me why you didn’t pursue volleyball. because i, for one, think it’s a perfectly considerable career path for you. »

oikawa lets go of his tea and intertwines iwaizumi’s fingers with his.

« i can’t ever play volleyball professionally, or at least i don’t think i can bring anything new and fresh to a professional team. i hurt my knee when i was in high school and it never fully healed. besides... i gave up on polishing my instincts so long ago, i can’t make any talent bloom inside me anymore. »

« you’re joking right ? hey, look at me. »

oikawa notices iwaizumi’s eyes look a shade darker when he gets this serious, and the message they’re sending his way shakes him to his core.

« you’re one of the best setters i have ever seen, and i’m saying this both as an ex-volleyball player and as an aspiring athletic trainer. all the work you’ve put in is continuing to pay off even today, and as long as you keep living your passion it will never fade... you don’t have to be scared of chasing something you love, oikawa. you  _ deserve _ to be happy, doing something you love. »

a single tear trails down his cheek but iwaizumi wipes it off gently with his thumb before it reaches oikawa’s chin and falls off. he keeps his hand there, cupping the brunet’s face.

« how about this : i promise you i’ll work my ass off in japan to be the best trainer i can ever be these next few years and in exchange, you finally focus on your studies and on upping your game here. just so that you can be at your best when i become  _ your  _ athletic trainer. and  _ please _ quit your job, i can’t stand how that man treats you. i won’t be able to rest knowing i’ve left you in his hands. »

oikawa’s voice is trembling as he answers.

« alright... i think i can live with that. »

« great ! but i’m warning you, i’m extremely demanding when it comes to my players. »

« don’t worry, i’ve experienced it first hand already. »

the sunlight hits them in a way that makes them seem otherworldly to every single person surrounding them. in the blink of an eye, the atmosphere between them has been alleviated once again and both their laughters echo on the walls of the cafe, illuminating the room as well.

iwaizumi doesn’t let go of oikawa’s hand even once as he walks him back home.

—•—

the airport is buzzing with the sounds of friends, families and lovers getting ready to leave. iwaizumi’s ears are whistling, as if he wasn’t stressed enough already as it is.

his leg is bouncing up and down in anticipation, heart ready to burst out at any given opportunity. if he was asked whether it was stress or excitement that prevailed inside of him right now, he’d be unable to answer, and he’s convinced even a professional wouldn’t be able to tell.

he read his notebook before leaving his house this morning, and the last quote his eyes landed on before he hurried out was  _« all i need, darling, is a life in your shape. i picture it, soft and i ache. »_.  it’s been all he can think of ever since.

maybe, he thinks, he wouldn’t have been this impatient hadn’t it been years since he had last seen oikawa. maybe he wouldn’t have been this impatient if he hadn’t been waiting for this moment since the very day he landed in tokyo. maybe he wouldn’t have been this impatient if he hadn’t been craving oikawa’s presence ever since they shared their goodbyes in buenos aires.

anyways, those are all just hypotheses. hypotheses that have all been proven wrong at that.

he hadn’t broken his promise, he’s a man of his word after all. as soon as he got back and tended to his mother for some time, he started working as an actual athletic trainer’s assistant. it was tough, learning the ropes is never an easy task, but he loved every second of it. he remembers now the thrill he’s always felt when in close ontact with volleyball. his muscles tighten as he’s reminded of how he used to play and his heart threatens to explode every time the team he’s supervising scores. it’s not a sad kind of nostalgia though, it’s a hopeful kind. one that fuels him with adrenaline. he doesn’t see himself through the players, he sees himself helping them reach their utmost potential, and that’s all he’s ever aspired to.

now, what oikawa has been up to he has no idea. but from the text he received the day before, telling him  _ i’ve finally grown iwa, i’m coming back tomorrow _ , he’s pretty sure he’s honored his part of the deal as well.

he scans every single person roaming the airport thoroughly multiple times, waiting and hoping for the arrival of the man he’s secretly been longing for in silence for years. every lock of brown hair makes his heart skip a beat, and every glance of chestnut eyes has him on the edge of his seat, ready to jump out.

(little does he know, oikawa’s been praying for his plane to land as fast as possible, so much so that he had arrived three hours early to the airport, in hopes that it would depart earlier than planned.)

finally, as he looks around the entire airport for the umpteenth time, his eyes land on a somewhat familiar figure. he catches himself straightening up in his seat before awkwardly shooting up, standing in front of his seat as he hesitates on walking up to him or waiting right here so as not to overwhelm him. his palms feel clammy and he’s sure his excitement is evidently showing on his face and in his body language.

as oikawa smiles, he can’t help but admire him. he looks taller, and stronger as well. he’s walking elegantly towards him, his simple, light blue, long sleeved t-shirt embracing his form to perfection. he looks like he’s come straight out of one of iwaizumi’s dreams. he raises his hand to wave and iwaizumi decides he doesn’t want to wait anymore. 

he’s never walked so fast in his entire life and the look on his face makes oikawa laugh. 

iwaizumi’s changed too. his hair is a little bit shorter now, he looks more confident, and he looks amazing in his white dress-shirt and navy blue pants.  _ a true professional _ , oikawa thinks, amused.

they both blank for a second when they’re finally face to face. surprisingly, iwaizumi’s the first one to speak, voice soft and involuntarily carrying all the weight of his patient waiting, all the weight of his secretive yearning.

« you’re... finally here. »

« yeah, i am. and i’m ready for whatever you’re going to throw my way now,  _mister athletic trainer_. »

« oh shut up, will you ? i’m only an assistant for now. keep up the bratty act and i promise i’ll make you regret it when you’re actually under my command. »

« as you will, sir ! »

oikawa smirks and he’s glad to see him reflecting his expression, just as teasing as him for once. he missed this, bickering with him, verging on flirting. 

he hasn’t exactly gotten the time to truly feel the depth of his longing, seeing how busy he was balancing his new job, his studies and volleyball practice. iwaizumi had put him in contact with one of his friends back in university who worked as an activity leader in a sports club, and who in turn helped him get hired. kuroo and him didn’t have to work extra hours anymore, and though he had an enormous amount of schoolwork to catch up on, he managed to pass his exams. barely, but still. then, he called up every single person he knew was in charge of the volleyball club back at nekoma, practically begging for an opportunity while still keeping up with his beach volleyball games. he wanted to be better, and although iwaizumi was always in the back of his mind, he did it for himself first and foremost.

and so he’s here now. all healed up and proud of the man he’s fought hard to become. from a single glance, iwaizumi can tell he is and what he’s been through to achieve it. he feels his heart soar in his chest. unconsciously, he finds himself cupping his cheek, gently stroking the soft, illuminated skin there. his eyes don’t know whether to focus on oikawa’s own gaze or his lips. 

« hey, oikawa ? »

« yeah ? »

« can i kiss you ? »

the smile that breaks across his face is immeasurable, and it almost seems like he looks even brighter now. like he’s emanating his own rays of sunshine. after all, iwaizumi has always believed the man was like light.

« i think i might take the first flight back if you don’t. »

iwaizumi decides he likes that answer. he tilts oikawa’s face down towards him before kissing him. 

it’s been so long since the first and only time they’ve kissed, both their hearts feel like they might rip out of their chest. oikawa wraps an arm around his waist to pull him closer, savoring the feeling of having him there, right against him after spending so many long and torturous years thousands of miles apart. he can’t help feeling ecstatic as he realizes holding him feels so natural still, that although so much time may have passed, so little has actually changed between the two of them.

« you idiot... i can’t kiss you properly if you keep smiling like that. »

oikawa wants to protest but iwaizumi pecks his lips to destabilize him first.

« sure, blame me for being happy that i can finally have the guy i’ve been so hung up on for years ! and you’re one to talk... you’re smiling so wide right now it’s almost creepy. »

« i don’t think that’s any way to speak to the man you’re  _ so hung up on _ ... »

oikawa chuckles before pulling him in a hug and burying his face in the crook of his neck, iwaizumi softly threading his fingers through his hair.

« you’re here... i’m back home and you’re right there with me. »

« you really are... and i’m not leaving your side ever again. »

oikawa used to wish he could say argentina treated him right. and now, resting safe and all warmed up in between iwaizumi’s arms, he can say it truly has.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! <3 if you also like kuroken and bokuaka, i’m suggesting these other works i’ve written in the past....
> 
> for kuroken : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24916612
> 
> and for bokuaka : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24915766
> 
> i hope you have a great day/night!!! love u


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